Your Reality If your reading this your whole world has turned upside down whether you are the widowed or the support system seeking guidance.  Hours can be spent combing the internet for answers to your “where do I go from here questions” because the majority of people in your life won’t be able to tell you. Not only is this a different type of grief, the legal matters widows face is drastically different than losing someone else in your life. As far as most laws and regulations go, you are basically now the spouse that you lost. You now own all their property, bank accounts, gym memberships, rental properties, storage spaces,…

A widow’s journey There are 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It has taken me three years to reach acceptance. My new normal is living life as a single mom. I am raising a boy and anything I don’t know I have to learn and fast. It seems my son has grown up overnight and I need to keep up. I have to love up on my son so that he knows how much I care while he still has me. What I had come to realize is I have spent a lot of time over the past three years checked out of life in my…

Lately things have been hellish for a lack of a better word. My son is feeling the effects of wanting a “real” family as he sees it played out among friends, in his community and on tv. Perhaps my own bitterness toward this often difficult single parent widow life has rubbed off on him. I have to help my son understand that we will be ok. It certainly does not help when relatives, friends and even strangers on the train interject on how they think you should be living your life. I have had cab drivers, beauticians, nurses, relatives, and yes random folks on the train demand I get married…

You are the relative or the friend of a woman who lost her husband. You want her to move past her grief and you don’t understand her changes. Have you once considered how you changed or even hurt her? Perhaps you just need to step into her shoes.

This was written September 1, 2015 on my late husbands Birthday, I am sharing with the world today. It contains messages only my husband would understand, this is only intended for him. Already I see you giving me the side eye Qwan because I am telling our business again but at this point I certainly hope you have watched us from heaven with front row seats witnessing all he good that has come to DJ and me through sharing our lives with the world. Remember you didn’t understand blogging, and that’s ok but it saves me from the insanity everyday. It’s the most insane thing that you are gone. Your…

The following post was written in February of 2015. I remember very vividly my grandmother telling me how I inherited her widow’s peak, the v shaped hair at the very front of the hairline. She went on to predict that both her and I would lose our husbands one day because of this genetic marker. I always considered my grandmother to be a wise woman so I believed what she said about me being a widow. Still I chalked it up to superstition hoping for a better outcome. But my grandmother was right, my grandfather preceded her in death and my husband preceded me on January 29th 2015 at the…